It’s Actually She/They, Please

Coming out with new pronouns

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Happy Pride Month, everyone! For the longest time, I went by exclusively she/her pronouns because I thought they best captured my identity as a young, Black woman. But as I’ve gone deeper in my self-love, self-healing journey over the past two years, I realized that I connect to they/them pronouns as well.

I have always been the type of person who dared to be different. I knew rules existed to keep people safe and set the standard for how people are supposed to behave in society, yet I didn’t want to be boxed in. To express my authenticity, I created my own opportunities, even if that meant doing something that’s never been done before (like starting the African American Appreciation Club) or being more vulnerable about the struggles I face daily (like my anxiety). The same is true of gender constructs. I don’t subscribe to the theory that only two genders, male and female, exist. It’s a whole spectrum where any and everyone can choose who they want to be unapologetically, and use the pronouns that best affirm their gender identity.

For me, I am still a straight, cisgender female; however, I also resonate with nonbinary. Some days I feel feminine. Some days I feel masculine. And some days I don’t want to be defined by either. I just want to live my life without worrying about whether my makeup (or lack thereof), my jewelry (or lack thereof), or my high heels (or lack thereof) make me any less of a woman than I am. Hence, my new pronouns, she/they, reaffirm my individuality and femininity in this new era of my life.

Here’s to a continued season of growing, coming out, being true to our uniqueness. Because the only somebody we need to be is ourselves. To all my fellow straight allies and members of the LGBTQIA+ community: thank you for being you!




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Avery Danae (she/her/they/them)

Avery Danae (she/her/they/them)


Contributor for The Power of Poetry, Catholicism for the Modern World, and An Injustice. Writer of YA poems & essays: